Losing someone close to you is
often a very painful experience. Holidays, anniversaries and other special
occasions can intensify that pain, but planning a remembrance or ritual to
celebrate your loved one’s life can ease the sorrow of these challenging times
and help preserve memories of the affection you shared.
The holidays can be particularly
difficult for those left behind, but may also offer a unique opportunity to
honor your loved one. Placing a special ornament on the tree, setting out a
cherished decoration or serving a favorite holiday meal can evoke fond
memories. Friends and family may wish to share notes of remembrance placed in a
stocking put up for your loved one. A candle might be lit in memory, or perhaps
a toast or prayer can be offered in tribute before a meal. Money that would
have been spent on a gift could be donated in your loved one’s name to a
favorite charity, homeless or animal shelter, or a needy family.
Holidays can be special times to
celebrate your loved one. Friends and family may come together to share stories
and cherished memories, such as the way they laughed or their favorite quotes.
Sharing these recollections with younger friends and family members is a
wonderful way to honor your loved one, who may have passed before the children
were old enough to know them. By gathering old photos, you can make a mosaic or
a memory album of the times you spent together. Create a calendar from pictures
or drawings with poems written to or about them, or simply write a letter to
express your feelings.
Crafts offer many unique
opportunities to remember those close to you who have passed. You might make a
quilt from their favorite clothes, inscribe their name on a piece of jewelry,
or compile treasured possessions and photos into a scrapbook that will be
cherished for years to come. A wonderful way to remember a loved one who
enjoyed cooking might be to create a memory cookbook. These favorite recipes
can recapture loving memories of family dinners, picnics and holiday meals,
especially if you include photos and captions with them.
Celebrating and honoring the memory
of your loved one is an important part of coming to terms with your own grief
and healing from your loss especially during the holidays.
As you make plans for these
remembrances, be aware that we all respond to grief in our own way and have our
own methods of coping. Communicate with your family and friends about how you
want to remember and honor your loved one. During your grieving process,
understand that you may continue to feel sad, angry or lonely for a long time.
But you will also gradually experience increased periods of joy and happiness.
These are all normal emotions, and feeling happy doesn’t disrespect your loved
one’s memory. It simply reflects your progression from mourning to a
celebration of the life you shared together as you journey through your grief
toward healing, hope and renewal.
